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| All about Irish |
Viewing profile :: Irish
Joined: 1311 Days
Posts: 6
Location: Clemson University, SC
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| They Don't Know #043; Fuzzy gay couch again |
Author:
epilonious ::
Posted:
Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:56 am
Greetings all, and welcome to the fuzzy gay couch again.
In this episode, I get Joe, Mark, Joey, and Me all riled up with an episode of Top Gear. Thus, full of British Wit and nifty cars and insane things like double decker bus races... we come to blather into a can. Cheers.
listen to it here
Voicemail: 678 701-3371
Email: epilonious@gmail.com
AIM/YIM/Skype: epilonious
website: epilonious.net
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| They Don't Know #042; Just me |
Author:
epilonious ::
Posted:
Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:58 pm
This is a teeny cast by just me. I discuss things I like, make a few plugs, introduce a new segment, and talk about stuffs. It was better than the show I tried to record yesterday… and I hope you are having a good post thanksgiving full work week.
listen to it here
Call me damn you!
Voicemail: 678 701-3371
Email: epilonious@gmail.com
AIM/YIM/Skype: epilonious
website: epilonious.net
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| On being a critical smartpants. |
Author:
epilonious ::
Posted:
Mon Dec 01, 2008 10:43 pm
I have suffered a lot of heartache over the past couple of years due to forum drama I have been involved in.
The drama usually goes something like this:
Poster A: 'I have this really cool idea and I love it so much and I thought I would share it'
Me: 'It is a really neat idea... but what about this and this and this and this, and what about this situation... It's good enough to handle these situations, but the ones I listed are the places where I think you might have problems." (Granted, this has probably got some snark and bitchiness. It IS me afterall)
Poster A: 'WHY DO YOU HATE ME!? I've never even seen you before you ASSHOLE! and NOW you DARE to question my idea! I HATE YOUUUU"
Poster B: "Oh I know, I hate him too. He once pointed out a few holes in my argument/idea in a slightly bitchy manner too. He also disagreed with something I believe personally and posted his reasons. Total Asshole. He's just a contrary douchebag.
Sometime after this poster C comes in to back me up, and point out the ad hominem attacks... then posters D, E, and F come to make more ad hominem attacks... and then moderator A sends me an email saying that while I didn't say anything particularly wrong... I seem to be involved in a lot of fights and could I not get into it too much with poster E because s/he's a sponsor of the site.
This usually repeats until the moderator or owner gets fed up and starts admonishing me. Sometimes in public (much to the delight of many of the posters). This is the point I get very sad and angry and leave and/or flounce while taking a full month to extricate myself completely from the site. All while drumming up my friends and talking about leaving another forum while they sort of go "awwwww" and then roll their eyes when I am not looking (they've had to do this a lot, and a pertinent question is 'you stayed there long enough to get that bad? Again? Why?').
The reason for all this is pretty clear. The people who go to forums tend to hate a critical smartpants. I heard the term (and it stuck) from ChaliceChick. As far as I can tell, the combination of hole-poking, casual snarkbitchiness, and the fact that I am smart... comes of as excruciatingly pedantic and vicious.
I am less snarky than I was. And I admittedly am not having as much fun as I was (when I was snarky/bitchy, more people seemed to admit to loving it) Meanwhile, when I am less snarky, the people that got pissed off seemed to be just as quick to anger. Hell, the few times I went very far out of my way to explain my perspective and make sure I issued lots of compliments and qualifications and sooth to whatever pissed off person or people I felt might get pissed off... it didn't help.
At this point... I am feeling a few things. I don't want to stop being a critical smartpants. It is part of who I am. Hell, it is my job. I have to write code and anticipate all the ways it might not work... and being able to go "what if some person enters the wrong value in a demo... how do I make it not throw a big nasty exception?" Thus, if you pose an Idea, I am going 'what about what about what about' in my head. My friends know this. My friends value this.
Meanwhile, I am smart enough not to apply that knack to find problems to my own or my friends personal lives. The truth of the matter is that when I try, my emotions influence me a lot. If it seems I am retarded when handling personal issues, it's because I don't want to turn on my analytical skills because if I am angry with someone, my analytical skill magically seems to serve up the solution as "cut them out of your life". If I am enamored, they could have stabbed a hooker in front of me and I would be finding reasons why they shouldn't go to jail.
I guess this takes me back to persons A, B, D, E, and F. Their ideas are very important to them. They spent time on them. So when I come along and my critical smartpants ways rip huge holes in them, and in a bitchy manner no less, I can understand why they get upset. Furthermore, their ideas more often stem from their beliefs. So when I question some of this stuff it seems like I might be questioning or criticizing their very being.
I tend not to get that upset (well, not when someone shreds my idea. I do get upset when people call me douchebag and asshole and otherwise pitch a big fit and scream a lot while pointing a finger at me). I know there are smarter people out there or people who will look at my code differently and point out all the stuff my code didn't do. All the things I didn't think of. I tend to be a bit mussed with myself, but I ultimately thank the person. It's called QA. It's how we grow as coders and critical thinkers.
I guess the lesson here is that some people will never be happy with what I have to say or who I am.... and the idea is to avoid them, or at least get to that "hey, we seem to get very upset when we interact with each other, so why don't we not pay attention to each other" point. Maybe the first time they get hyper pissed I may be able to diffuse them with a private message or something, but more often than not people will just brand me as someone to dislike, so going "I don't want to talk to you ever again" can be a blessing.
Also, if that person is the moderator or the owner of the site, I just need to go. If they're doing their job correctly, they will constantly see me as a source of aggravation and will eventually decide they want to get rid of me. I have seen lots of moderators who are laid back enough to never reach that point with me, and a few that were fastidious and hurtful when they got upset (I was one of the bad moderators, which is why I am never going to be a moderator of anything but this forum ever again).
I guess I need to find a new forum until my own gets really jumping (and I am fully aware that my own forum becoming a happenin' place may never happen. I built and and no-one really came). Anyone know of a good place that doesn't mind the occasionally snarky critical smartpants?
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| I'm between Gen X and Gen Y... |
Author:
epilonious ::
Posted:
Sun Nov 23, 2008 11:38 pm
So, I had a lovely conversation with a podcaster who met me via Twitter the other day... And like most of my friendships, a serendipitous conversation caused lots of laughter and that "Oh my Goodness, this person GETS me" feeling. I can't think of a good friend I haven't had that moment with.
I post the following conversation as evidence of that connection. I hope my friends laugh and maybe even remember that moment they had with me.
MM: if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
epilonious: I am 27
MM: no kidding
epilonious: why do you ask?
MM: because you've managed to outclass me in one short conversation with virtually no effort at all, and that's usually an indication that someone is older than i, but it's also very unusual to hear about a relatively unmolested gay person who is older than I
MM: which i realize sounds a little odd, but, yanno, cognitive dissonance.
MM: Can't be having it.
epilonious: how on earth did I outclass you?
epilonious: also, how old are you? Because you don't look a day over 18. Unless we're in a bar, at which point you don't look a day over 21. In fact, it must be your 21st birthday, I should buy you a drink to celebrate...
MM: aww, that's sweet. I'm 27
MM: oddly enough
MM: but i'll always take a free drink
epilonious: a yup. And pretty much I have found that the best way to inquire about someone's age... which is a sensitive topic.
MM: i had all my sensitive topics surgically removed as a child
epilonious: it's a compliment and a free drink all in one to defuse anyone's barriers to latent agism...
epilonious: Hee. I guess we are evenly classed. waxing 20's gayish sub/urban people who are essentially yuppies but would hate to be called such because of the negative connotations of greed and insensitivity which we secretly know we exhibit sometimes but who doesn't.
MM: Heh. The -Ish Generation.
epilonious: I beleive we are actually cought right between Generation X and generation Y
epilonious: we're like whipper-snappers to Gen X and buzzkilling older siblings to Gen Y
MM: we are. depends entirely on which sociologist you want to subscribe to, but I have detected the line moving back in time over the past 15 years
MM: we were totally genX in highschool
epilonious: "don't you 'meh' me you little sumbitch, I was 8 when the first season of simpsons was on fox, only fox, and was nowhere near as big as it was today. I helped make Futurama possible. Now pull your damn pants up" "You tell 'em brother" "I ain't cho brother! I know this because I just spent 15 minutes showing you how to get your damn iPhone connected to the starbucks wireless network for free while you did nothing but bitch about how you miss bagphones because they just had 9 big buttons and a lot more cachet!"
MM: Oh my god! **laughs**
MM: you got it in one!
epilonious: damn skippy I did  .
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Merkur Track Racer
Me, Cayce, Mark, Pat, and Jeff work on a 1986 Merkur XR4Ti originally nabbed for the 2006 Grassroots racing challenge.
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Meetin' Me
Okey, so we've settled on a wish to meet up... Read through this forum to get an idea of the things I like, the things I hate, and the things that will get you treated like a bad ex-boyfriend. These are the things I've found make me feel special, make you look competant, or really upset me into irrational drama that you get sucked into. I try and stick to these rules as much as I can with other people. and I'm just putting them here for things to go smoothly. These mostly cover first-meeting situations. After that, everything is casual and all this BS can be dropped
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